Breakfast of Crackhead Champions!

You would think that I would be excited today.

NOT.

Although the kids have an early release day the teachers have marathon trainings and meetings from 1:45 until 5:45. Can't a girl catch a break? Guess not.

This morning, I ran into a parent that I really try to avoid. It is my belief that this chick was or most likely currently IS a crackhead. Yeah, I know you think that all that went out the window with New Jack City, but I am my brother's keeper and I am here to tell you that crackheads are alive and well. Well enough to have spawned small children. They (the children that is), though officially are not crackheads themselves are crack-ish because of their crackhead parents.

Anyway, this chick has all the crackhead qualities: can't stay on topic, scratches too much, moves her mouth unnecessarily, and walks really, REALLY fast. It was that fast crackhead walk that let her catch me this morning. See her argument is that she gets here at 8:31. Breakfast is over at 8:30. Now technically she is late and if Little Crackish is not in the room he is considered tardy. She does not like this, so she has come EXTRA early this morning to argue her point.

(yes, you should be scratching your head right here)

Conversation:

Crack Parent: Mrs. G...Mrs. G...Hey!! Mrs. G

See, I was really hoping that she would think that I was deep in thought and I tried to keep running, but she put her crack run into Flo-Jo mode and caught me. I had to hurry and fix my face before I turned around to her. See these conversations are usually foolish and given my state of mind the last two mornings, I really was just not in the mood.

Me: Good Morning! What's going on?

CP: You know I am sick these people not givin' my baby no breakfass in the mornin? Uh-huh.

That is another crackhead trait...all sentences must end with 'uh-huh'.

Me: Really? The cafeteria staff is usually pretty good about that. Have you talked to the cafeteria manager?

CP: She said that he be coming to late (insert that lip moving mess here) and that she cannot serve him after 8:30. Uh-huh.

Me: I am sorry. Is there anyway you can get here earlier? The kids really do have to get to class.
Now she is yelling at me. Ain't this a bitch!

CP: I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT THE HELL THE PROBLEM IS WITH GETTING HIM SOME BREAKFASS IN THE MORNIN'. YOU PEOPLE ACT LIKE YALL IS SERVING SOMETHING ALL SPECIAL. IT'S JUST SOME CERERAL AND SHIT. I CAN TAKE MY BABY TO BURGER KING. Uh-huh.


Now see, I really don't think I deserve that, but since there is a recession and I need this job...

Me: (sigh) You are more than welcome to do just that. He does not have to eat here. However if he eats here, he needs to be here before 8:30.

CP: I can't get here before 8:30. Uh-huh.

Me: Never?

CP: No. Can't you get his breakfass for him? Uh-huh.

She really needs to find her pipe and smoke it if she thinks I am going to serve this child breakfast (or breakfass as she puts it)every damn day. WTF!!!

Me: I can not.

CP: Why not? Uh-huh.

Me: Can you please just try to get here before 8:30?

CP: I can't and I just don't understand why you don't understand that? Uh-huh.

Me: Because you are here now to argue the point and it is 8:00.

At this point she used that same Flo-Jo crackhead sprint to call me a bitch and head to the cafeteria. I bet if I could have seen her face her moutn would have been moving a mile a minute and not saying a thing!!

I love my job! Uh-huh!