Grits and Corn...(WTF)

As much as you know I love my job, there are a couple things that I really hate about teaching first grade. Today we will talk about one of them.

Throwing up.

Over the last 6 years I have avoided throw-up like the plague that it is. I am not the one to throw up because someone else has, but I just really hate the whole concept.  Truth be told, throw up is just one of the hazards of teaching first grade students.

Before I go on with this story I must also let you in on a couple things about me. One is that I am (kinda) bougie. If you are reading this and you are not sure what that means you are most likely Caucasian.  It is too much to get into, so I would suggest talking to one of your African American friends for clarification and questioning.

The other thing is that I hate...HATE...HATE for my food to touch. Well, some foods. There is a list of foods that can touch but it is too much to get into. To keep things simple, folk usually just leave me to making my own plate, letting me direct them as to how to put food on my plate, or (usually for picnics) making sure I have the plastic plates that are so nicely compartmentalized and keep all foods in their own neat space.

Now that you know all this, we can continue.

One of my very best and most polite students has had several episodes over the last few weeks where she just leans over and throws up. Usually it is in the middle of my reading class. It takes me a minute or 30 to get past it.  Of course then there is the whole bother of having to get the custodians to clean up the mess and get the child off to the clinic.

Well, today this happened (AGAIN! UGH!) and I decided I would call her mom.

Me: Hi, Ms. T. I am sorry to bother you at work but Asia has thrown up again. She would like someone to come get her.

Mom: Again? Wow. That is really unusual. I will have her dad come get her.

Me: Yeah. I was thinking that too. Do you think that it is something that she is allergic to? Could she be lactose intolerant.

Mom: Well, I don't know. I never thought of that. We usually don't have a problem with dairy at home. And she usually does not throw up unless she is sick or has a bug coming on.

Right here  you should be able to tell that this is on of my favorite parents. No foolishness. No uh-huh's like Flo-Jo.

Me: Well let me ask her what she had for lunch today.

So I call the student over. She has to be one of my most intelligent students and she really is a pleasure to have in the room. I am sure that if I ask her a question she can give me a straight answer.

Me: What did you have for lunch today?

SB(she is my smart bunny):  Grits and corn.

Me: Grits and corn?

WHAT  DA HELL!

Mom (still on phone): Grits and corn?

Me: What do you mean grits and corn? You mean rice, right?

OK right here is the point. I cannot imagine grits and corn being served to the students. So of course I am going to make it be something else.

SB: No, Ms. G. Grits and corn.


Me: Were the pieces together or separate little white pieces (I am gonna make this be rice if it kills me!!)

SB: No ma'am. Grits.


Me: No way. Not mashed potatoes?


SB:  Nope. Grits and corn.

At this point she gives me this look that pretty much says that she could not believe that they put that mess on her plate either. By this time the whole class has erupted into a story about grits and corn.  They  are explaining to me that for lunch they had a choice of hot dog, cheese pizza, chicken nuggets and grits and corn.

AND IT WAS MIXED TOGETHER!!!


I grabbed my chest and damn near fainted. Neither the "no mixing" part of my brain nor the bougie part could stand much more! No wonder the child was throwing up. All that fiber in one meal had to find some way out!!

"That's just damn nasty!" I forget that the kids were in the room and that mom was on the phone.  Luckily she thought my disgust about grits and corn was just as funny as the kids.

Me: Mom....let me call you back because there is no way this is true.

So I left my room to find out the truth about lunch.

I am next door to a second grade class. I asked the teacher to let me talk to one of her students that had some sense.

Me:  Hey, what did you have for lunch today?

The student goes on to tell me about all the items for lunch including grits and corn.  I had this bright idea: maybe this older child knew the difference between grits, mashed potatoes and rice. Nope...grits and corn (UGH!). The little part of me that likes to keep my food separate asked one final question:

"Was it mixed together...or in the separate containers?"

You guessed it. All stirred up in the pot together.

Who does this? I left the room shaking my head and thinking that I too, at six years old might have thrown up if given a plate of grits and corn. Yuck!

On the way back to my room I tried my luck with a not so bright student that happen to be in the hall. Secretly, deep down inside I was hoping that the other student had somehow heard my disgust over grits and corn with some kind of  super hearing a' la Superman and was playing a cruel joke.  Surely, this child would not be that bright and give me an honest answer.

Me: Hey, what did you have for lunch today?

KIH (kid in the hall): Hot dogs.


Me: Really?


KIH: Yes, and grits and corn.

Last ditch effort:

Me: Grits and corn seperately?


KIH: No....they was all together.



YUCK!!!!

Who does that?

I love my job (but the cafeteria is another story LOL)!